http://www.nintendo.co.jp/mario20th/
Marioo!! Others might share a b-day with Angelina Jolie or some other big lipped heartthrob, but I’m exactly as old as the mustachiod crusader against all reptiles himself – Super Mario.
Rock!
-f.w.
They’ve added a cool little sushi bar to USC Commons right across the way from the mail stop. It has a bustling, Tokyo subway kind of feel to it because it’s right in the middle of the hustle and bustle of kids running around between classes. You can sit down, put down your bags, order a roll, and the chef’ll make it for you right there. Charming.
I noted this new addition to USC’s retail armada with approval as I was heading out, carrying my skateboard and bookbag and pushing the glass door. A sorority girl busted in to my right, wearing those infuriating square coffee gradient sunglasses and shaggy chic attire, along with her similarly fashioned friend. She pointed out the sushi place.
“Oh look,” she said smiling, “A little Asian food place for Asian people to eat!”
God DAMMIT.
It’s like the universe knew my hands were full, knew I was late to class, knew that I would, despite seemingly insurmountable odds, control my urge to knock her eyeballs out from their sockets with my skateboard trucks swung menacingly at the back of her skull, that I would not break her nose off and feed it to her vapid friend.
She toted a bag, proudly proclaiming her “heart” belonged to some mishmash of Greek symbology. “Your freaking brain belongs to a museum,” I muttered, “the starring attracting of an exhibit entitled ‘God’s Greatest Failures of All Time.’ And your clothes belong to the freakin’ Woodstock maternity ward. Gah!”
So many fools, so few bullets.
Los Angeles also blacked out for an hour today. Everyone was like “Oh man that dude who threated to bomb us + Australia was telling the truth!” but it turns out it was some tool working on the grid who decided to cut all the wires at once, instead of one at a time. Good job man – got my Bio class canceled.
-f.w.
Man. Yesterday morning, I got up all ready to attend classes with a gleam of the day’s infinite potential shining in my eyes. The day before, I put on some brand spanking new green cruiser wheels on my skateboard so I can just cruise like a mad mofo and maybe attract a cult following for my smooth lines and skills (on the board), so pretty much I am itching hardcore to start shredding and skating my way over to school.
I lock up the door, throw my laptop-bag-turned-shoulder-bag over my head and lay the board on the concrete sidewalk wicked style, all hopping on it in one smooth motion like a complete pro.
Then a car goes roaring down the street as I start to push off, beeping like an angry smoke detector almost out of batteries. I’m so distracted, I don’t notice I just planted my off-board foot in front of my brand spankin’ new massive honkin’ wheels, and ate a face full of shit right there on the sidewalk.
Let me run that through once more: I got up, was excited to skate to school. Then some jackhole in an SUV decided to distract me at a key moment and I ate it hardcore not more than twelve feet from my front door.
Just about turned around and went back to sleep.
This isn’t the first time I’ve taken a hella hard spill when somebody distracts me. Once back in Normandy Park, I was biking back from the QFC that is like ten minutes from my house, and who but Garrick Jones comes roaring by all waving friendly and everything. So I wave back, but I veer slightly onto the road. As I try to get my bike back on the sidewalk, I realise that the sidewalk is about an inch higher than the road but by the time that memo is sent up to Higher Command, I’ve flipped over my handlebars and have eaten about eight kinds of shit in the most embarassing way possible. Later, Garrick calls me and congratulates me on my Lance Armstrong-like prowess with the bicycle.
Basically what I am saying is this: I need to get some special bracelets made. They will be a bright flashing neon color (and also glow in the dark) and the way they work is like this: If the dude is wearing one of my bracelets, you shut the hell up and don’t make any sudden movements when you’re anywhere near them and they’re attempting some sort of physical feat.
I swear, it’d totally save lives.
-f.w.
