[ New conversation with: ShoppingBuddy ]
12:31:40 AM fw0ng: hey baby what is up
12:31:46 AM fw0ng: you and me
12:31:47 AM fw0ng: shopping
12:32:24 AM fw0ng: what
12:32:33 AM fw0ng: you not want to go shopping with me?
12:32:47 AM fw0ng: oh my god
12:32:51 AM fw0ng: i can’t believe u r totally ignoring me
12:33:09 AM fw0ng: forget it
[ New conversation with: Moviefone ]
12:33:22 AM fw0ng: hey your friend shoppingbuddy is a dick
12:33:35 AM fw0ng: totally ignoring me
12:34:30 AM fw0ng: hey…
12:34:30 AM fw0ng: HEY
12:34:36 AM fw0ng: you both are WHORES
12:34:53 AM fw0ng: i bet you sit around all day and just insert your diodes into each other’s modules
12:35:04 AM fw0ng: DAMMIT
12:35:08 AM fw0ng: I just wanted to see a movie and maybe go shopping
12:35:14 AM fw0ng: and now my evening is completely ruined
12:36:33 AM fw0ng: i guess i have to sit at home and eat ez mac and watch softcore on skinimax.
12:36:34 AM fw0ng: THANKS.
Today, I was skating home and I nailed a curb trying to get onto the sidewalk, and completely wrecked my shit in front of trick or treaters. As I picked myself up, a guy in a car who saw me fail to check myself before I wrecked myself shouted “Are you ok?” I responded: “Yeah, I’m alright, thanks.” “Hey man, keep skating man, don’t let it stop you,” he said.
I responded proudly, “I’ve wrecked my shit harder than that before dude – it’ll take a lot more for me to stop skating!” Two seconds later, I realized that that’s not something to be proud about.
Then, at an intersection, I scared some little kids dressed up as Batman and The Hulk when I realized I had a chunk of broken glass in my left hand and it was leaving a nice trail of blood on my hand. Listen kids: If you can’t be as tough and badass as the Marvel or DC universe character you’re dressing up as, don’t even try. The Hulk flings around tanks for breakfast, and Batman watched his mom and dad die – if some Asian guy with a bleeding palm is enough to creep you out, you should probably dress up as the tooth fairy or something.
Anyway, this isn’t really “content,” I’m afraid, but I’ve been collecting the various search terms that people have entered into various search engines to hit this site (I’ve made an update over at Thugz Manse to this effect). The list is touching, sometimes hilarious, and often disturbing, much like (I’d like to think) the human experience.
Here are some of the best. Remember, a real live person typed this into a real search engine, and got here:
- japanese shit cake (I didn’t even know the Japanese baked these specialties. Am I surprised? No.)
- retarded preschooler pictures (This is a fetish I have never heard of before. Thanks internet!)
- dislikes cock (I’d rather have someone hit with this search term than the opposite…)
- cheap hot skirts (Frankly, I think we all need a reliable source on cheap hot skirts)
- jimmy buffets cell phone stolen (I honestly hope ol’ Buffet himself didn’t search for this)
- crappy pussies (This guy apparently, doesn’t like the good stuff)
- porcelain hole in the ground (This blog has been called a lot of things, but not this one yet)
- techniques for making wrist corsages (1. Flower, 2. Hot glue gun, 3. Rubber band, 4. Sexy time)
- mancocks (Again, I’d rather have someone hit with this search term than the opposite…)
- anal girl (Who isn’t, really)
- Phalli-max (1. Hot glue gun, 2. Rubber bands, 3. Sexy time)
- Pounded vaginas (I was unaware, before this guy came along, that there was a distinct visual difference between pre and post-pounded vagina)
- awesome cars with hydraulics, spinners,underlights,and sweet paint (It warms my heart that people still search the internet with phrases like this one)
- CHOPSTICKS FONT (Yes, all caps. This guy shares my rage)
- drunk sorority girls (Definitely disappointed.)
- boys swimmers abs pictures (Let’s be honest here – a little homoerotic)
- “crew team” shirtless (Gah, I am sensing a pattern here)
- what kind of people are more likely to fall for peer pressure (Apparently, my kind.)
And the #1 search term that is used to hit this site:
Video searches for the phrase “shirtless” and “pumping.”
They hit the legendary Jimmy Wong’s reloading extravaganza, so in honor of all the pervs looking for my brother shirtless and pumping, click the video below to view it (opens in a new window):
Happy Halloween! In my mind, there is truly nothing more frightening than J. Wong with a gun and no shirt.
-f.w.
